billions of years ago,
the universe as we know it was created.
22 years ago today,
i came from it.
i was born, and not by virgin birth like Christ.

i am by no means or definition
the same person or thing born 1147 weeks ago.
and DNA agrees.
to be more precise and more truthful,
i don’t know the person that is today.
he is still undefined!

in all honesty,
i am convicted that i will be off
all this beauty (the land of the living)
without figuring it all out.
and perhaps, you, too, will not.

8085 days later, and the young man
is full of life.
yet he knows not
the meaning of this life he seems full of.
be that as it may, that doesn’t subtract
the fever of feeling full of it.

and as it ought to be,
if he doesn’t understand who he is,
or at best, who he would be,
how on earth (literally so) would anyone dare
define him?
he is still undefined.

this does not mean that man (gender neutral, fs)
is the knower of himself.
as it is, man has not seen himself outside of himself.
he will forever know not how and what it is to be him,
outside of him.
a bug or a feature? you, decide.

this ings me to the realization
that you, reading this, know a ‘me’
that another doesn’t.
two know me as their son,
three other, a sibling.
few others, a friend,
others an acquaintance, a stranger
while many others, just another human.

and in the most unlikeliness,
an intersection of all the things i could be
or lack thereof.

some will describe me as introverted,
others extroverted.
you will say i’m shy (which i am)
another will say i’m confident
and maybe in between cocky (which also i’m)

one friend will say i’m this and
a sibling will say i’m that.
and you’re all correct.
with no doubt whatsoever,
you know a part of me that another doesn’t.
undefined?

but what do i say of myself?
“i do not know what i may appear
to the world, but to myself,
i seem to have been only like a boy
playing on the seashore and diverting myself
now and then, finding a smoother pebble
or a prettier shell than ordinary,
whilst the great ocean of truth
lay all undiscovered before me.

i’m flawed and many times over blessed.
ambitious and optimistic,
pessimistic and nihilistic at times.
an old soul with a youth’s mind and carelessness.
i indulge in pleasure and pain.
i love a good laugh.
i’ve undeniably fallen in love with the bits of madness.”
(the computer, one of man’s greatest engineering feats).

i baked cake to celeate the life i’ve and will live.
like i will always do in rememance of it all.
today i bought a domain and wrote a note to self.
i’ll have the cake and eat it.

felt & written by me: @themadbit date: 15th day of August, 23 years into the 21st century